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  • Writer's pictureBrandon 'b.Side' Alvillar

How To Talk About Homosexuality In A Christian Home

Updated: Nov 6, 2023

The game has changed. We no longer live in a world where the issue of homosexuality is a distant issue. This is an issue that has affected many of us, in every walk of life, including our homes. In this article, we’re going to look at how the scriptures educate us as Christian men, to deal with this issue head-on. However, before you read this, I would encourage you to pray – especially if this is an issue that you’re dealing with personally as a husband or dad. While the points I’m going to make here, are practical in one sense, they are spiritual in nature. You can’t produce spiritual effects by approaching these things with a carnal mindset. This stuff is hard. Pray.

Man praying with open Bible

The issue of homosexuality is a MAJOR church issue these days. I’m not talking about the “affirming” movement that justifies sexual sin from the pulpit. I’m talking about legitimately-cool Christian leaders, staff members, and Jesus-loving Christians, having to confront this issue within their own families, and in some cases, with their own kids! The issue has become so hard, that MANY of people have left the church, or changed their theology to justify sin, having been ill-equipped to handle the spiritual nature of this issue in their own homes.

According to recent data published in a Fox News article, surveys suggest,

One in five U.S. high school students, do not see themselves as heterosexual.”

Experts in that field, speculate that “the increased general acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community, seems to be more welcoming.” Best believe these kids are in church too, as more churches are striving to “welcome” this group.

According to a recent Gallup Survey posted on NBC News, there are nearly 5.3 million LGBTQ adults in America, that claim to be religious. They suggest that out of those people, 38.5% of them are 18-24 years old. Based on those numbers, there are easily well over 2 million young adults living a homosexual lifestyle, while also considering themselves religious, which means that they’re likely in church somewhere. Younger kids are there too.

These numbers show that this is a fight we can’t ignore. If we’re not properly equipped by the Word of God, and filled with the Holy Spirit, we will not be able to do our jobs as Christian men – leading our homes in Godliness. Let’s be clear here; this issue isn’t about you as, “the man of the house” upholding authority, or being the “cool dad” that’s accepted and “loved” by your family. This issue is simply about fulfilling your God-given purpose, to glorify Him in the ways that the Bible instructs us. Having said that, let’s get to the nitty gritty…

Man standing on shore of lake looking at fog

How do you talk about homosexuality in a Christian home? One of the major subjects that makes this issue difficult centers around the concept of “love.” The tactic that the homosexual community likes to use, is to take our words and flip them to their advantage. If we don’t know what the Bible teaches about love, we can feel like the bad guys very quickly, and become discouraged from standing up for the truth. MANY people have already fallen victim to this strategy. Let’s not make the same mistake.

The argument of the LGBTQ+ community is that their brand of love is equal to, or greater than our version. False! Here is the supreme standard of Biblical love, as explained by the Bible itself.

He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” – 1 John 4:8

The standard of Biblical love, is God Himself. He IS love. This teaches that all of the attributes of God that are explained throughout the scriptures, encapsulate God’s identity and nature as “love.” In other words, the holiness, righteousness, justice, purity, and goodness of God, all describe His attributes, which by extension, describe love itself. Any presentation of love that is contrary to the testimony of God in His Word, or the works and purposes of God documented in scripture, is by definition, a false brand of love. When you study the contextual usage of the word “love” in the Bible, here is what scripture teaches us true “love” is:

Love is the revelation of Jesus as the Son of God and Messiah, whereby He died to Himself for the spiritual benefit of others.

If we start from this foundation regarding the Biblical presentation of “love,” we can stand more confidently. The folks that identify with the LGBTQ+ community, are living according to a lie because their brand of love is false. It’s contrary to God. Knowing this, we have to understand the root of this lie and the basis from which these folks are operating. In Romans 1:24-25 the Bible says:

Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.”

Notice how the scriptures don’t just call the issue “a lie,” but instead refer to the root of the issue as “THE lie.” The Bible is referring to a specific lie that is supreme above all others.

What is THE lie?

The next phrase tells us. These people worship and serve the creature, rather than the Creator. The issue behind the LGBTQ+ community is fundamentally rooted in spiritual rebellion against God. Plain and simple. According to the Bible, the people who identify with this group, lie to themselves, that they can live contrary to God, worshiping self by making up their own standards without consequences, and will be blessed in doing so.

Two men facing wall with caption saying, "Proud to be me"

Why is this important to know? Before you can begin talking about these things with your family, you need to understand what you’re working with. You’re dealing with deep-seeded rebellion in the soul. You, as a man, aren’t qualified to deal with or change issues of the soul.

How do we address the issue then? How do you talk about homosexuality in a Christian home?

First, you better pray! Praying first shows that you’re seeking the LORD and depending on Him to do a work that only He can do. It shows that you trust that the root of the issue, is genuinely spiritual.

Second, you need to be in the Word of God. Understand that, the words that come from the other side of the conversation, are going to be lies. The devil is active in the world, and has indoctrinated people to incredible lengths! Yet, he likes to use pieces of the truth to confuse and distract people from the real issues.

If you can’t clearly identify and articulate the truth, you’re going to have a hard time discerning and dealing with lies. Before you jump into conversations you’re not humanly qualified to deal with, you better make sure you’re spiritually equipped with the knowledge of the truth of God’s Word.

Since we’re dealing with spiritual issues, our participation in the matter is actually rooted in faith. According to the Bible, faith is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s going to take time to nurture an understanding of the Word. It’s likely going to require more than one conversation to uphold these Biblical standards in your home. Faith is all about the long game. Don’t think that you can talk about this once, and not deal with it again.

According to Hebrews 11:1, faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen. Our faith is exercised and strengthened by the enduring patience we show as circumstances change, but we continue to seek the LORD with a confident expectation. We confidently expect the LORD to do the things that He says, documented in His Word, consistent with the testimony of His character and nature. Since the work is spiritual, we might not see results at first. Faith is confidence in God’s integrity to respond whether we see the response or not.

Notice how, our approach to this situation, has less to do with what we say, and more to do with our attitudes. Here are some tips though, as you begin to engage in these sorts of conversations.

1. "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

The enemy wants to distort the truth of love. Make efforts RIGHT NOW to show Biblical love. How you can die to yourself for the spiritual benefit of those in your home like Jesus did? Your sacrifice to your personal ambitions, to nurture the souls of your family WILL have an impact. That doesn’t mean everything will be ideal, but God will be glorified. That’s the true goal.

2. "If anyone speaks, [let him speak] as the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, [let him do it] as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen."

When it’s time to talk about homosexuality in your Christian home, remember who you represent! You, as a dad, a husband, and a man of God, carry a great responsibility and privilege to represent and serve The Creator Of All Things. Your words, should be as God’s own words, delivered with the same intent and objective, by His Spirit. God speaks, to glorify Himself, according to the way He equips us to serve Him. Your focus should be to speak in ways that glorify God so that you can equip the people in your home to serve the LORD. How your family responds, doesn’t matter. The goal is to glorify God by properly representing Him and leading to Him; which has nothing to do with how our families accept or reject us.

3. “For I [am] the LORD, I do not change; therefore you are not consumed, O sons of Jacob.”

The LORD DOES NOT CHANGE. Since we are striving to represent Him, WE DON’T CHANGE EITHER! We do not concede to modern compromises concerning the issues that scripture clearly identifies as sin. Sexual immorality of any kind, and modifications to the Biblical definition of a family (husband, wife, and children), are clearly condemned by God. He has not changed His stance. The denial of self, to “love” others DOES NOT require us to accept the sinful lifestyles of others, even in our own families. If we’re really going to “love” Biblically, then we love them like Jesus did. We do what’s right, no matter the pain associated with the labor, and regardless of whether our service is accepted or rejected. That’s what Jesus did when He went to the cross because He knew it was necessary to deal with the issues of the human soul. Do you believe this?

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